MOTHERHOOD: Four Months with August / by Vivian Chen

Dear Gusters, 
My sweet boy, you’re four months old and I can’t believe how lucky I am to be your mom.

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Your thousand watt gummy smile and the twinkle in your eyes is instant amnesia for my bad days. It’s a smile that charms everyone we meet. Your delightful personality is coming out more each day.

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I love our afternoon chats and especially when you have a new silly sound to share. Thank you for encouraging us to go outside. The fact that you love nothing more than to watch the sunlight filtering through the trees tickles me so much. I’d like to think you’ve got a bit of my tree hugging sensibilities in you. But my favorite thing is your laugh which we hear more and more of each day. Those little giggle fests are everything. We can’t wait to go on more adventures with you!

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Reflections on Motherhood

Self care looks different now. Before Gus, self care looked like day long hikes in the woods, morning runs before breakfast and a steady weekly yoga practice. With Gus, self care is whatever brings joy, whatever grounds me, no matter how small. I've redefined what it means to indulge. I’ve redefined what it means to be productive. Watching silly Youtube videos because escapist humor is still effective in small doses. Washing my hair because anything to feel nice is a self-esteem booster. Listening to podcasts while running errands because multitasking doesn’t have to be boring. Going for walks around the neighborhood because fresh air always defeats cabin fever. And most importantly, letting go of work every now and then so I can spend time with other mom friends and their babies. I’m learning that part of self care is freeing myself of past expectations. It may not look the same as it used to but the outcome is still the same. Recognizing, adapting, accepting the new normal.

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